The things I think about when I’m alone astound me. I also reflect back on things I’ve said and some things hold true while others are better forgotten
I’m thankful for writing everything to the world. These words you read are my original thoughts. Not that I have readers. But if I did, I would only hope they see the real in me and the purpose I’m trying to achieve.
I’m so stuck in a corner lately. Like a rabid dog. I’m likely to be vicious if I feel threatened and I may feel threatened over nothing.
Its hard to tell if I can even blame it on hormonal changes or if I’ve snapped at the point of no return. Like a moment of impact.
This moment for me is when I broke up with Joe. That was when I broke and I haven’t been the same since. Not exactly more bitter, but I definitely know I’m more likely to feel attacked. I feel like my shields are rusted and aren’t for very good protection so I must ward off any potential evils before they realize my vulnerability. Even a rose could prick me and I would be afraid of bleeding to death.
Its safe to say I’m terrified to be loved. Because my kind of love is a love that is intense. And when I love you I will put myself through Hell for you. Until I break.
I’m afraid of what that person would be if I were to break again.. I don’t even like who I am now.